Friday, February 6, 2009

You don't get fired in this job...!!!

I cam across this hilarius job description for a Parent's position.
If it were to appear like this would we take it up willingly..? I dont think so. But without doubt we are all in this job. It is risk free unlike all other jobs - lay offs, pink slips, recession, global economy crisis etc.


PARENT - Job Description

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa

JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellentcommunication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hourshifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small
gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan a! and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one
minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for theworst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugsfor life if you play your cards right.

PS: do you think this is the creation of a child ?

16 comments:

Banoffi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bettyl said...

That sums it up so well! Yet, we walk --or stumble-- into it, knowingly!
Thanks for the chuckle!

Wayne said...

lol so funny. that peranthood thing sounds erm alot of responsibilty. Thankyou so much for visiting my post and I hope you will take part in this weeks tell a joke tuesday

SandyCarlson said...

Man, do I know a kid wrote this!

SandyCarlson said...

This is true. And some days the job security is just a nice thing!

ArneA said...

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!

Yes I know, have done but now I am only (?) thinking of living the rest of my life by using my own funding.
You can nothing bring with you when you leave
Thanks for visiting me

The Things We Carried said...

Oh this made me laugh! Thanks!

Pauline said...

Put this way, you'd think no one would want the job! Still, the rewards of parenthood are often greater than one would imagine.

Pradip Biswas said...

It is a 2in1 piece. The satire is based on a bitter truth. The truth has 90% confidence level that it always hold good

Roshni said...

It was hilarious!

muthu said...

that's a nice one.....

And i hav posted new stories....

do try them and leave your comments.......

Sujata said...

Very interesting!

Moannie said...

This is hilarious...and spot on. I shall reccomend it to the readers of Mad Manic Mamas- a blog dedicated to the parents of teenage terrors.
Thank you for visiting my blog...see you again.

Shrinky said...

A must read for every would-be parent! Thanks for making me smile.

Antarman said...

Lovely..amazing post ! enjoyed very much.and its the truth:)

Anil P said...

Haha. Millions will identify with this :)